Trust Yourself

I am learning that it is crucial before beginning any journey that one must trust themselves.

Before embarking on anything whether having done it before or not the mind is an important part of the process. How will you succeed and maintain it if you can’t see it? How will you do it if you don’t believe it?

 The mind is such a powerful aspect of elevation in any endeavor, especially going into business for oneself. Many will say don’t start a business. You can hear the onslaught of phrases such as:

It’s too risky! 

You can’t do that.

What will your family and friends think?

Who will purchase from you?

You’re wasting your time. Forget about it.

 The market is too saturated. Everyone is selling something, how will you ever make a profit?

While all of these phrases are valid and how they’re placed will you listen to them? In my experience thoughts pertaining to these phrases have been ruminating in my mind for years. I dreamed for years of pursuing professional writing and put it off. Due to overthinking and considering all the possibilities of both what could go wrong and right I was stuck.

 I didn’t know what way to move forward. So instead of doing anything I would research. . research, and research some more. I’m the research queen let me tell you lol. After researching I would intellectualize and ponder on what could go right.

 The moment I would find proof of success being a reality with me instead of trusting myself and going for it wholeheartedly I would turn to peers and family for validation. In other moments I would self sabotage, not fully carrying out tasks or starting out with motivation and slowly winding down until I made up enough excuses to tell myself it wasn’t worth doing anymore.

 The times I turned elsewhere for external validation in my ideas I never fully found them worth pursuing despite the burning desire to execute. When I would self sabotage it would just become a self fulfilling prophecy.

 I believe it truly boiled down to the belief that my capability of writing and creating content utilizing tech and my creative mind could never be profitable or provide value.

Over time I got fed up. My mind became this storehouse of ideas and concepts I either hadn’t implemented or didn’t execute fully despite my having laid out detailed plans. I thought to myself what is the point of being inspired to create material if it’s just sitting in my mind and on Google Drive? How will I reach people if I never share the material? People aren’t mind readers. No one can guess what I am thinking. 

Aside from the many years of musing and pondering coincidences started to happen. I would connect with people in school, workshops, and even social media through my websites who would say :

Where’s your book?

Have you ever thought of freelancing?

You have a talent and you should get paid for it.

I started to hear comments like this repeatedly. I got a bunch of confirmations and reminders of my skill set and desires many times. The moments I would try to suppress myself and my skill set the more would come. Peers and colleagues would reach out and inquire about my services and my writing pursuits.

I decided why not share the material and pursue writing professionally despite the fear and discomfort.

Since then onward it has been a daily practice in which I learn to trust myself and my capabilities. Especially as a woman I have learned no one will trust me and back me up more than myself. And if I don’t trust and believe in myself then who will?